Cheat alert! This is an older sketch but one I still like. Zombie heartache.
Saturday, February 16, 2013
In the meantime here's some tainted love.
The months immediately following Stephanie were times of rediscovering myself and adventuring into new territories. Although, these things aren't really that new. I guess it was an explosion of independence.
The way things started between Kasey and I were kind of in the shadows, since we had both just gotten out of relationships. You could say it was good for both of us, to get a release, but it just started out of fun. Like all things that start out of fun, it got serious. See, Kasey's ex-boyfriend, Raymond, and I were just starting to be friends... right before Kasey and I began seeing each other. (Awkward, and of course, big, heavy guilt.) Regardless, Kasey and I were spending so much time together that we created a bond. We ate at new places, explored new places, met new people-- she even got me into a workout routine (a routine I really have to get back into.) With bonding and all that time spent together comes feelings and ya...
Since I was just coming down from a seven-year relationship, I didn't want to lie to myself and say I was ready to fall in love again so soon. More importantly, I didn't want to lie to Kasey. She was and is too bright an individual to do that to, and I was done lying to people. In the end, I really valued her being there for me--really, being there for each other. That summer would have just been filled with ice cream and video games and I wouldn't be half the person I am today. (I would probably be twice the person after all that ice cream.)
(Ray and I are okay now, by the way. Or at least I like to think we are. [Sorry again, bro.])
Joining the Month of Love group, I knew that I would eventually be tackling some issues I've been dealing with for a couple years now. It was inevitable. Many people have encouraged and suggested dealing with my issues through some creative process, and Month of Love seems to be an appropriate vehicle. However, making this narrative was a lot harder than I thought. I found myself digging up wounds and tearing up some scars create visuals for "My Love," which explains my five-day delay.
My relationship with this woman, Stephanie, felt both long and short, wonderful and challenging-- like many are. Needless to say, Steph taught me a lot of things. I was stuck inside myself when I met her, and she helped bring me out. I was a messy person, and she helped clean me up. (I can still be pretty unorganized, but I'm trying my best.) She made me a better me.
I learned a lot of things about myself from our relationship, regardless of how we grew distant just as we reached our closest, regardless of our love became more and more great and complicated , and regardless of how we finally pushed each other away, I learned-- I like to think we learned-- more about each other, but more importantly, about ourselves.
I may be less experienced than most people my age when it comes to love, romance-- hell, even picking up a date, but through Steph, I became the person I am today, and found the person I want to be tomorrow.
Part Two: Adventure Time